If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
