At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
