the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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