i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
