My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
