I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize