My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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