he wants to bone in the snuggie
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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