Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
