Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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