I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
