if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
