my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sext me about skeletons
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
