I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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