I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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