PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
