We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize