when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
