escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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