The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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