that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I could fuck to npr.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
