Are we in a gay sports bar?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
