haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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