I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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