like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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