I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
