idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
