the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
someone threw a dead crab at me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
