Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
