can u get pink eye on your cock?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
