You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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