we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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