I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize