I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
