he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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