We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
