Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
