So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
