those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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