i just google imaged poop.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
