Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
