The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
