Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
