I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
