Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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