I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
