i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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