I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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