Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
