Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
