You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
