I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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