in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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