Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
