That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
