Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
this will be a night to untag.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
