i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He did a backflip because drugs
i out mim tonsoeep
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
