I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
