i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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