he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
